Have you ever stopped and thought how you react to possible situations in your life?
You think of the type of person you want to be and “do the right thing”.
Have you ever found yourself actually living out that situation and doing the exact thing that you thought you would never do because you never wanted to become the bad / stupid / insensitive / idiotic one?
Well I did. Tonight especially. And I’m sorry to you. There have been other days too arising from basically thinking too much or having insecurities. You’d think that at an age of 24 going 25 (soon) you think some things would be more or less settled. But no. In times like these you think to yourself perhaps it would have been better off if I hadn’t experienced this but on the other hand without this experience you would not know how to guide / help those facing the same problem. Then also how can you think about helping others when you can barely even help yourself.
I have the same question resounding in my head.
“Do you do what you say you believe?”
Because what we say and what we do can be totally mutually exclusive. Something to chew on in my coming December, my month of rest. For remember God ordained rest thus it is our right and, sometimes for people like me, responsibility to rest.
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The Wheat Field 
Funny, the word that bounds in my mind has been REST. I was mumbling, need work, need to do this, want to do this and want to do that. All I felt was REST.
Rest in Him, dear. Feel He is waiting.
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