So I finally got sick of the fact that I bought a 2.5mm to 3.5mm stereo jack adapter that couldn’t fit in my phone due to the combination of the connector end being too wide and the phone connector having a ‘cover plate’ on it such that it is recessed (like the iPhone’s headphone jack). So my phone is a bit more naked (after taking off the cover for the USB connector as well) but as long as it’s easier to use.
First 3 evenings spent doing a video promo for a trekking walk happening on the 27th April. Decided to just use Windows Movie Maker due to its simplicity and ease of use. Kudos to Microsoft for having a simple video editor. Yes you cant make that many tweaks but it’s simple and functional to most degrees. Insert in those days preparing to lead CG (that happened last night) for the first time (well maybe second time) and I come back to say I have a lot to learn. There was also brochure design for Run for the World. Spent last night and this morning playing around with J2ME and realizing I have a long way to go if I want to make nice apps. Today spent doing some tutorials on how to use properly use the setup at church. I know I think to much leading me to not want to commit putting it down on paper (or more appropriately, screen) and after doing those tutorials had some drama practice. Ended up playing Call of Duty 4 post dinner for an hour. Let me say I prefer simple (i.e. no-brainer) games like CS and Quake 3 but I think that was the first dose of playing a game I’ve had for a long time. But anyhow I’m tired and drained out. There is much to be done and many aspirations to reach for. Camp coming around the corner in just over 2 months and I have to ‘finish’ up the booklets and souvenirs ASAP. Feeling a discontentment and disconnect with life. It’s times like these that help build character. I just pray that I will have the strength and support through Christ who strengthens me.
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us
As soon as I touched down and had a look around on the 6th things looked more or less the same but feels different. 1.5 years is relatively a long time and the pace of life seems to be much faster and the crowd bigger. It has indeed been a few busy days getting stuff for people and getting my own stuff. It’s been great meeting up with old friends and having my first taste of podcasting on 65Bits. I guess so far what I wanted to achieve out of this holiday has not been fully attained. As I’ve been telling everyone this 1 month is going to be a time of rest, relaxation and more importantly reevaluation but so far on this trip I think I’ve only had some relaxation. Doing the ‘mandatory’ mom-thinks-I-don’t-have-enough-clothes shopping yesterday was a bit of a bore but the more I look at the computer stuff I can’t get back home the more I want to buy all that I can =p
On the 2nd day Friday 8th February 2008. If you need to address contact me anyway you can. It’s supposedly all day but I would think 1000-2200 would be better. I can’t promise you food (because I don’t know what my mom has planned) but I think I can promise you a still messy room if you dare to look…
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1 John 4:7-8
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
What we know and what we believe and what we really believe and what we do can all be different. We learn from our mistakes. I’ve just made a mistake that could be one of the biggest in my life. When angry some people kick a fuss, swear, break things: I keep quiet, because I know what I say will be out of emotions and reacting rather than responding. So my mistake came with reacting. There was a attempt to salvage what was done but I know it’s hard and what I did was severely inadequate. Keep those emotions at bay: let them loose and it’ll wreck havoc.
Life is funny how we try to be the type of person we envision. When you fall short of that or even find yourself becoming the person you never ever wanted to be like what do you do with yourself? Life is hard. Crying in despair can be inevitable. But life is full of learning. It’s amazing how I feel it’s hard to trust people yet here I am typing some of the things going on in my mind right now available to ‘anybody’. Friendship, or the type I envisioned, was something I never really got a hold of. One big mishap here, one act of trust betrayal there and many times of me staying closed and here we are today. We all have our hangups but yet we all still have to face life in its entirety. When things go wrong what do we do? I’ve been through the phase of moping around feeling sorry for yourself and being depressed. I’ve been there before and that achieves nothing except for self pity and a feeling of worthlessness. What we need to do is, hold on to our securities – and hold on tight.
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
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The bible says In Galations 5:6 that faith works through love. You know people always wonder when they pray for the sick “Oh, do I have enough faith? Maybe I don’t have enough faith. Do I have enough faith?” But I tell them don’t focus on the faith, focus on the love, because faith works through love. Okay it’s like love is the tunnel or the MRT tunnel and faith is the MRT train that goes through the tunnel
Quoted from 6:00 – 6:20 of The Love Of God by Mike Reyes (COOS Youth Service 15th Dec 2006)
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Well thats the question I keep getting in the past few weeks and it’s draining. The process of going back is physically draining as it is, and when people start questioning me about it, it gets emotionally draining. Yes I admit I can be a workaholic and I push myself too much at times but as anybody who has heard my cry I want a holiday. I want a break. Yet I feel circumstance does not permit it. In short lack of understanding from people be it from the aspect of software development to that of computer system setup where weird things just happen. But at the end of the day the reason I’ve been working my butt of the past few weeks was to get everything up and ready for the client. I’m not saying it is the client’s fault because we have set deadlines both side have agreed to. Deadlines are meant to be kept (as long as they are within reason of course) and I believe the past deadline (2nd Jan for system going live) and the next deadline (tomorrow) are both perfectly reasonable, it’s just that things got in the way. I’ve been getting ‘scoldings’ and ‘hard advice’ that I haven’t NOT heard before. I have not forgotten them but I believe this is a part of my job and thus my responsibility. I will not shirk it. I will not neglect it. For if there is one thing I do, is that I work hard. There are some that call me smart and a genius, but I can assure you I am neither, just the times with a different view on things, but I wouldn’t consider myself either one of those 2 words: hard working, however – I am. I am not angry at those who ask this question it’s just tiring to hear it over and over again when people don’t understand. So as I wait for installation to finish I just hope I can get some peaceful rest from all of this. Please
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