Pure Joy

With all the things that have happened (and are happening) I could so easily be like this:

But James 1:2-4 says:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Consider it “Pure joy”: Not easy huh?

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Magnificent Night

Yes I was working until 0130 but it was what happened after work that was so refreshing. The drive in the quiet night. With a peace and calmness that you don’t get to see during the day or even at night with people busy running their own rat race. I took a nice leisurely drive in the midst of the first day of the week that more or less started off with an expectation of a busy week, anticipating the work that needs to be done. And this was/is camp work, not even office work which woke me up in the morning via an innocently ringing phone. Data population was to be resumed after a long hiatus: people have finally given me data to populate! (the enthusiasm more for the feeling of relief that finally get to make a few more steps towards finishing the project, rather than the happiness of getting work to do). But enough about work and just enjoy the beautiful world that we have before us. Got my supper at the pasar at church and felt like taking a nice long walk in the cold of the early morning. I guess the feeling of relief after a long day of work and the opportunity just to relish in the morning was so satisfying that I just drove around for an hour. Just me and God and His magnificence. Church camp coming up this weekend and 3 weeks until YDM youth camp and I’m sure He’s stirring up something special. Brace yourselves. It’s going to be awesome (yes I had to resist the ‘ooosome’ ;-> =P)

Love is an MRT Tunnel

The bible says In Galations 5:6 that faith works through love. You know people always wonder when they pray for the sick “Oh, do I have enough faith? Maybe I don’t have enough faith. Do I have enough faith?” But I tell them don’t focus on the faith, focus on the love, because faith works through love. Okay it’s like love is the tunnel or the MRT tunnel and faith is the MRT train that goes through the tunnel

Quoted from 6:00 – 6:20 of The Love Of God by Mike Reyes (COOS Youth Service 15th Dec 2006)

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Do not ask for easy lives

“Do not ask for easy lives, pray to be stronger. Do not pray for tasks equal to our powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle. Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.”

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What a few days, what a few months….

A visit from Senior Pastor Derek Hong from my Singapore home church, COOS has so far been a great experience. Fallen way off the saddle in the past few months and I guess an atmosphere of familiarity and ‘security’ from days gone past of my days in Singapore has given me that extra push I need to get back on the saddle and head back on the path of the straight and narrow. Struggles in life, commitments in life and just life itself throw you many curve balls that you just can’t hit out of the ball park and all so often it seems that its just that nobody really understands: nobody there. I guess thats my problem. If I’m difficult to get along with “I’m sorry” but I’m far from perfect when it comes to building relationships. Sometimes I see myself as the stereotypical nerd with the thick rimmed glasses that isn’t popular and doesn’t mingle well. Well actually that basically my life in my secondary days. Time and time again you try to trust people and some how they let you down, not to put anybody down but we are all human and we all make mistakes. So you tend to shy away from people knowing that they’ll let you down. Yes I miss the days in Singapore when things seemed much ‘easier’ with more support from like minded people but life isn’t a bed of roses. We go through trials and tribulations to strengthen us for what else is to come. Well what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Too much things floating around in my mind. I better go to sleep if I want to get to KOOL in 6 hours…

A few links providing good reading and listening material:

  • God Is Not As Interesting As My I-Phone or Harry Potter
  • Welcome to Ocellated: “Well, essentially, it’s about science and faith”
  • The Daily Audio Bible: Listen to the Bible in a year
  • Blogged with Flock

    Busy busy days

    Been very busy with UAT (user acceptance tests) at ACB (Anti-Corruption Bureau) this week and will continue till the 24th. I would just like to thank God for sustaining me and seeing me through. Despite the same kind of hectic life I had last week, this week has been more bearable. Though today was practically a breaking point for me. The Business Objects (BO – yeah it does stink) server was acting very PMS life giving errors that I never encountered before and for some reason I reverted some modified files to the original so I had to re-edit those files. I did have a copy of the modified files though, but one thing I don’t get about Tomcat server is that if I copy a file over an existing one and reload the page it does NOT reflect the changes. I have to open the file, save it then it shows. It’s probably some issue with cache or something. If anybody knows do tell, cause the place we have in ACB has no Internet connection so troubleshooting anything is a pain: goes to show how much we depend on the web (especially Google search :p).

    Anyway in the next few days I need to get reacquainted with Business Objects XI (BOXI), WEBI reports, Crystal reports, metrics and analytics. After dealing with BOXI and Livelink (version 9.6) from OpenText I’m very surprised to see how pathetic their migration support is. For BOXI (the XI stands for 11 in roman numerals) it cannot export the data the analytics are linked to thus if you have a system set up and you want to migrate it to an existing system you have to recreate the analytics all over again. For Livelink workflow maps when you export from one system to another, some data can be lost. There is no easy migration tool for either of them…. probably just a business ploy to seek and pay for support.

    So its the weekend, so you guys enjoy it. I’ll be in ACB yet again cause I need to show something to boss on Monday and I need the smelling BO server for it and I can’t be bother to bring the server home: it’s not small and it’s noisy. But probably afraid I’ll drop it and make a big mess of the project :p. Night people and happy weekend

    Of life

    So I just rejected an offer from Lucent and decided to keep up with this freelance kind of thing I have going on in my life. You know the saying “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone”; well it seems that I’ve been bitten twice by that saying. And both is in regards to the job offers I’ve had. I guess the thing I value the most right now is my time and being able to do what I want with it. Got another offer from Edaran and the terms are kind of better than Lucent but most importantly it’s giving me my freedom of time. I don’t know been kind of thinking through my future thoughts of ‘working life’, or more appropriately employment life, and I’ve been drifting here and there thinking of too many things and just getting overwhelmed by the possibilities and the hopes and dreams you could say. Frankly in this job search of mine I don’t think I’ve had much support. Sometimes it always comes down to the business bottom line of the money. Sure money doesn’t make the world go round contrary to what some may think, but yes it pays the bills it lets you live. Sometimes I just want to take a measly paying job just to learn and love it and sometimes I just want a job to pay the bills so that I can just come back home and enjoy life.

    Went down to Miri last Tuesday to get my laptop fixed. Hooray for 3 years international warranty. Though it left me not going down to Singapore was a bummer but I guess opportunity costs was just too much. So I’m just waiting for their email to tell me when it’s ready for collection then comes another 6 hour driving day for me. Perhaps this time I’ll be able to get some shopping that I want to do in Miri…

    Funny thing while trying to spell check “contrary” via Googling it, I stumbled upon God is Love as a sponsered link from answers.com. Funny way that God works. Also what caught my eye was the word “loves” not “loved” as He still does. Even as I set out not to have the “God” category checked in this post here He comes and changes that. Life is hard. Struggles abound. What do you do? What I have done is trying to deal with it, and sometimes it just comes back full circle when you rely on your on strength. I need strength. I need strength that I don’t have. Now I just got a song in my heart and I can’t seem to get the lyrics right. It goes something like

    Give me His eyes, Jesus eyes,
    Give me His hand, oh Jesus hands,
    …..
    …..

    Give me His words, Jesus words,
    Give me His heart, o Jesus heart,
    …..
    …..

    With the …. representing the lines I don’t remember and I’m sure the lyrics might be slightly wrong but I’m sure thats the song of the day. I planned to post a short post of updates, He planned something else. Now I guess the biggest question I have for myself is:
    “When will I stop relying on myself, when I know I’ll fail me sooner or later”

    Take care everybody and God bless

    Hibernation…

    is what has become of this site. Been busy with new opportunities and things on going and going on in life. A pretty belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. Handed in my mission trip report last week and 3 things I took back from it: all you can depend on is God, be born ready and “What can I do?”. There are times when there seems to be nobody around when you need help.

    1. There are times in life when there seems to be nobody around when you need help. I’m not talking just about physical sense but just to be there. There are times when you are all alone in every sense of the word and there are decisions to be made. Sometimes that will affect not only yourself but those around you and people in general. What do you do when times like these come? I got some sense of this before and during the trip itself. And some times you are in situations you would rather not be in. You lack the abilities / preperation / experience that would be needed to get the job done well. Not everything can be done on human strength and ability alone.

    2.  Being ready or in a state of readiness as I believe P. Andy shared in one of the messages. I lack experience in many aspects of my life as I chose to turn my back on God in my teens years, as I chose to stay in my comfort zone, as I chose to limit my school life to doing things that help me get the grades I wanted but not develop my skills to what I wanted. It’s never too late to start something, so here I am at the ripe old age of 24 learning new things everyday which I should have learnt during my school days.

    3. What can I do. I’ve seen the youth in my church. They have so much opportunities ahead of them: they have promise.  Many of them can do things I can’t even imagine myself doing. I desire to see them grow and develop into the person God wants them to be but the biggest catch is here and lies in one word: “how”. How can I help? What can I do? Pray to God to show me what I can do while at the same time actively look out for the opportunities and avenues.

    So that was mission trip learning experience. Then came Christmas with the handmime presentation: not only performing but also prep work with the UV lights required. It is no joke bringing 3 UV lights in your car when each UV fluorescent tube costs BND$35. Just yesterday had to perform again for the Malaysian Christmas Celebration.

    Not to mention I’ve been busy with some part-time/freelance work that I got. Basically it is system setup and a technical support. So I’ve been driving around setting up the systems with the required software and tomorrow there will be a training conducted by my brother. Doing some other web development for another project I’m working on that will hopefully launch next week. Currently I’m procrastinating by finally updating this blog and after that I’m in for a full day of work.

    Got an interview with Lucent, or should I say Alcatel-Lucent, tomorrow afternoon after the training. The job seems good and provides a good learning experience for myself so God if this job is for me, open the doors just as You have opened the doors for the work I’ve been doing.

    It’s a new year and it starts off with a long post. Too long for my taste. So next time update more. Shorter posts especially for those with short attention spans like myself. =P

    God bless for the coming year and many more to come

    Leaving for Sarawak

    The journey starts in a few hours and will be staying Miri overnight before catching a flight on Monday morning to Kuching Sarawak. Supposed to be involved in 2 youth camps. Frankly I don’t feel ready. It has been a lot of a week to handle. More than I could handle. Yet again I am reminded of how weak I am without Jesus as my firm foundation. I’ve disappointed Him as I have done many times before. Yet another lessoned learnt, yet another step to be taken, yet another journey to travel.

    Matthew 11:28-30
    28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    2 Corinthians 12:9-10
    9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    Lord as I cast my burdens down at the foot of the cross You died for all the people of the earth, I pray for strength and guidance for the week ahead. I thank you Lord that you grace is sufficent for me and that when I am weak you are strong.

    Loneliness is what I need more of: to get away and get back in touch with God….