More or less started last Wednesday when my group didn’t make it through to the next round of the Philips competition. Didn’t think the project was innovative so wasn’t really a surprise but actually it was more or a relief than a disappointment. The project was too draining especially for preparation for the finals which will be held next week on the 23rd. So now I can focus on more important things :) Possibly will be helping out with YWAM Singapore especially with their GoFestAsia Conference & Outreach coming up next month.
Just updated my User registration AMX Mod X plugin due to a user request.
Minty MP3 is progressing after a proper inventory check yesterday :P Found out we forgot to order quite a few components so will be doing that ASAP while tinkering around with the available stuff first.
Moved out of my old block last Monday and found out today that I have lost my matric card.. Gah… Moved Ya Chee and her cousin on Sunday and ended up bringing her monitor back to my place and now I have a dual monitor setup :D The only problem was actually bringing it back… Carrying a 17″ CRT monitor on a bus from Boon Lay to PGP is no fun. Especially when you have to carry the monitor from Heng Mui Keng Terrace (I think that’s how you spell it) which is where Kent Ridge Hall is to PGP itself. And that was like around 2330 at night after being out the whole day. The morning was at church, afternoon was helping Ya Chee’s cousin move and after that Ya Chee to move.
Tonight is supper with some people who I went to China with in December. Yay!!! Supper is always good. Need to go for Swensen’s all you can eat one of these days. Went to Swensen’s on Saturday after my church cell outing but they only had a special Mother’s day menu and no promotion :(
Hope to use these holidays productively… to know God better and grow in the word. Dear Lord please guide me in to know You more and to strengthen me to have the discipline to read and study Your word diligently. Thank you for teaching me more about myself day by day and Lord God I pray that I will be able to please You and to do Your will: not my will but Yours be done. Amen

3 trips was all it took. And this is with some stuff I have yet to get rid of. Good to know I’m cutting down on things I own. I think :P When I go back home I’m thinking of 3 main boxes: clothes, books and electronics :P
Thinking of shipping a few things back home first, some of the stuff that I barely ever use like squash, tennis, badminton and table tennis stuff haha
Anyway resting now before going back to FYP partner’s place later to prepare for our big presentation on Wednesday: first round of the Philips competition.
Last week of school work as FYP thesis due at the end of the week, thinking I will touch it up tomorrow or Wednesday after the first round of competition. Then it will be more or less relaxation time. Hopefully :P

Giving up.

** Updated at 4:41:48 on 2006/04/26 **
Today. In a few hours time.
Time: 1700
Venue: S16 TR4/TR5 = S16 #03-04/05
Seat: 30
Notes: Open book
Could not sleep properly this morning. Slept at 6 up at 7, then back to sleep up at 8, then back to sleep up at 9. So decided to get up and do some more reviewing. The module content seems much better after reading the textbook once over. I like the fact that I have a much better outline of the module but feel that something just isn’t right but I guess just leave it in God’s hands ;-)
If all goes well tonight will be in Visualization Lab to try complete my EE4217 Technology of Digital Entertainment project. Yeah sounds kind of sad going to lab to work right after the LAST exam of my NUS life. Aaaaahhhhh. Anyway I better get back to reviewing.

PS. Useless fact of the day
Every Microsoft Excel worksheet has a maximum of 256 columns and 65536 rows (at least for Excel 2002 (10.6789.6735) SP3) :P

At 5pm tomorrow
Venue: MPSH2-A
Seat: 316
316, cool number haha. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”. God’s assurance and funny sense of humour I take it. To think got up at 0400 this morning with a dream of being cradled in 2 giant hands.
It’s amazing how much God loves us and still loves us despite straying away. Been a tiring and trying past week for me and thankfully refreshed after service yesterday, physically tired due to lack of sleep but spiritually refreshed :) And before going to sleep last night I thought about the realization of going back. Started crying thinking of the things I’ll miss especially the cell group. If only things lasted for a while just be glad they lasted… if only for a while.
Now my worry is being sleepy during exam. Been sleeping like 3 hours at night and 6 hours in the afternoon for much of the past week. Horrendous sleeping hours I know but thats what happens with projects that I wanted to complete and yet to finish. Thank God that it was extended and will be focusing more on it after exams. Thank God that it’s an enjoyable project and that lots of things that I thought was going to be hard turned out to be much easier than expected after I put some effort into it.
4 chapters left to revise then hopefully sleep. Then wake up revise once through yet again then go for exam. To think after this exam is going to be a tough time. Open book exam for CS3221 Advanced Operating Systems on Wednesday 1700-1900 yet again and to think of it I don’t think there are any School of Computing students taking it, only Computer Engineering Students from Engineering. Perhaps that says something about the course in itself which is a pain to read through the recommended text. I guess I should have paid more attention in class and actually gone to class (skipped the last few weeks I think). We don’t even know how much weightage the exam is, but it should be 100% if not close to it as there was only 1 assignment from which were two 2 minute presentations where he gave us sample input and got a sample output and that was it. The last exam of my NUS life. Man its going to be weird….
Anyway back to studying.
Good luck to everybody having exams and God bless

Same age old question when it comes to my first class honours possibility. First of all, my list of things to do
1) EE4217 TDE Project 2: integration with EON which does not want to play properly. The game server works fine by itself but when imported into EON as a DLL the server’s receiving thread just dies or something. It’s hard to debug because it just runs in the background with no console output or anything. Maybe I can write to a file but still I dont have the slightest clue why it doesnt work the way it should. Project due 5th May
3) 2 EE4217 reports due 23rd April
4) Touch up my thesis and upload. Deadline 13 May
5) Study for exams. Deadline 24th April for Financial Accounting and 26th April for Advanced Operating Systems.
So I’ve been trying to get my TDE project working for the past 2 weeks. The game server and client in C and OpenGL are all done. Working fine to my testing. Integration with EON is screwed up and the project is sapping up all my time and energy. Point to note that the project is worth 40% of the grade and I actually like the project…. Well at least the part that I’ve already done, the game server and client side. Want to add more features to the game and get a bit of eyecandy but where’s the time? I have 2 exams to study for AOS I’ve barely touched the book that is to be read. Skipped the last few lectures and the course is just a haze to me right now. Financial Accounting is kind of better as I have background in accounting and I’ve been trying my best to at least do the tutorials before class or during. Went to all tutorials save the last 1 because I was rushing the TDE project…
And so now brings me to the point where
1) I have no energy left
2) I have no mood to study
3) Questioning whether trying to maintain 1st class honours is worth it
I need food. Craving McDonald’s for some reason… Think will have to go out and study… Maybe McD maybe somewhere but bleh.
Incoherant thoughs jumping all over the place. Thats my mind right now. Think of 1 thing and jump to another.
Final month of NUS. Utterly the most stressful time I’ve had in my whole University life. And the funny thing is its not even because of my FYP. Well at least I dont think. Speaking of FYP, presentation on 10th May for the Philips competition, preperation which will start after exams. And after exams is supposedly finishing up TDE project as well.
28th April – 2nd May TDE Project 2 with EON (deadline for USP students we are working with is 2nd).
2-5th May TDE Project 2 touching up and adding eyecandy
5-10th May Philips Competition: shortlisting round preperation. I’ve supposed to finish the PDA application and some other stuff I want to see implemented. The presentation is 10th May in the morning in NUS. Morning.. bleh
20th May Final round of Philips Competition IF we make it through the short listed round. Content or flash? Feel there’s not much content left in my project so just add flash. Wont hurt right? I mean at a chance to win S$5000 for 1st place, $2500 for 2nd and $1500 for 3rd it wont hurt right?
Bleh… back to studying.
In a while….
On a side note. I dont think I’ve been in a project group that I was completely satisfied with. Or at least mostly satisfied with. Meh….
Bleh.
Study
Now
McD

Been a loooong day. Stayed up all night last night trying to get something done to show for a presentation. Despite getting an extention due to the fact that my group is working with some USP students from a different course I still wanted to show him what’s been done and basically I just wasnt happy with what I presented. The feelings got worse on seeing what other students had done and that all the work I’ve done for the past week is more or less in vain as I couldnt show what I wanted to show. Still compare myself to what others have done and what they are capable of. And it just emphasizes to me that I’m not smart just hard working and that can only get me so far. So just thought to myself what if hard work is not enough?? Depressed with comparing myself to others. Something I just need to work on so help me God. Honestly how far can you go by yourself? By your own strength? From what I’ve done from the past week and past experiences I know I cant do much by myself. Just need to trust God in all the turmoil. There’s a reason for everything. I guess the experience is just making me learn about my life and what I need to do and how to handle things. Trust in God. Trust……

And times seem like I’m not going to make it.
Great…
Wallow. Hug pillow. Program. Drink coke. Eat ice cream.
Lather, rinse and repeat.

How life makes things happen. How things make you want for something more. For “something else” out there. And how to me its bringing back to God.
Problems coming up here and there not just for me but for people around me as well. How unhappy with life and such. Just reading the blogs of people I know of and such. Seems to be a sad fact of life. Or is it?
Just kind of randomly reading stuff and ended up here. Lifted my spirit up and I know I’m not on the right terms of God right now. There are a few things in that post that I wish I could say. But just feeling unworthy right now, picking up the pieces of my broken life. Nobody knows it but me…. and God.
Sorry for my disappointing behaviour as I know it hurts You. Forgive me dear God for the way I let things happen in my life that displeases You.
I thank You that You indeed are always there. Waiting to pick me up when I fall. To forgive me no matter what I’ve done. To love me even though I don’t deserve it. So dear God I just cry out to You for forgiveness… and strength to carry on for the next 3 weeks.
I pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

CA3 for FYP is confirmed to be in 2 weeks time. That means…. this weekend will be busy studying for TDE test on Wednesday that accounts for 20% of the grade. The next weekend will be busy doing preparation for CA3 and final testing and debugging. And I have yet to really start on TDE project part 2. God give me strength, in Jesus name :)

Back to thesis writing…